Seth, being only 5 years old, gasped and leaned back in fear wondering how he’ll ever be able to do what’s right in the eyes of ‘Being’.
“’Being’ was so upset, he cursed the ground so that we’d have to work really hard to grow things. Trust me, I know, I spend all day working very hard for our food to grow, and it isn’t easy.”
Seth responds tentatively, “But… but Abel says that ‘Being’ loves us very much! How could ‘Being’ love us, but also make life so hard for us?”
“That is simply the way of ‘Being’. For instance, I try just as hard as Abel to speak with ‘Being’, but I don’t feel anything, and Abel feels everything. He says he can talk to it, but I’m not sure I believe him, I think he’s making it all up.”
Having heard the last sentence Abel understands what’s going on, it’s not the first time. What is he ever going to be able to do to convince Cain that it’s not ‘Being’ that isn’t speaking, but rather Cain who has shut himself off?
He speaks up, “Cain! Stop filling our brothers head with your jealousy!
“Seth, don’t listen to him, ‘Being’ does love us very much. So much so, that It wants us to work so we can have a purpose. That’s why it takes effort to bring food, because if it was too easy, we wouldn’t appreciate the beauty and bounty that ‘Being’ has given to us. This is why we must always remember to thank ‘Being’ for everything we have, because we would have nothing without It.”
Cain rolls his eyes, “Oh please! It’s not ‘Being’ that brings our food, it’s my sweat! I don’t see It out there tilling the soil every year, or making sure the plants get water when it doesn’t rain!”
“Without ‘Being’ there wouldn’t be any rain to begin with! Rain is a blessing, just as growth is a blessing, just as having brothers is a blessing! Life itself is our greatest gift, and we should not spend it trying to scare each other.
“Seth, you know how I take care of the sheep and goats?”
“Yeah” Seth nods.
“Well, I see the miracle of birth every year, and I can tell you that I had nothing to do with that! That’s ‘Being’ creating life right before our eyes! Just like you my little brother, were created by ‘Being’. You are a miracle too!”
Seth’s eyes open wide with excitement, “Wow, really!?”
“No!” Cain interjects,
“If you were a miracle than you would be helping me tend the fields rather than sitting around with mother all day long listening to songs and playing with toys!”
Looking crossly at Cain Abel says, “Again, don’t believe the words of fear spoken by our brother Seth, he’s just jealous that he can’t be sitting next to mother instead of out in the field.”
Cain blurts, “What would you know about it sheep herder! Like you’ve worked a day in your life! All you do is sit there and watch the animals eat grass while you play on your flute, or hum stupid songs! I’m the only one around here that does any real work! ‘Being’ has cursed me I tell you! Gah! I’m done with you, I have real work to do anyway!”
Abel kneels down to look his brother in the eye, “Seth, I want you to be very careful about listening to Cain. I am concerned that fear has eaten away at his heart. According to dad, fear is there to help us do the right thing, but I think that Cain has lived so long with it inside him that he’s losing himself, and has lost his connection to ‘Being’. I love him so much, I hope he’ll reconcile his hurt with ‘Being’ soon.”
Seth, not quite understanding what Abel is saying, and knowing he’s talking more to himself, still wants to know, “What’s Cain afraid of?”
“I don’t know, Ach Qatan. Sometimes I think he’s so afraid of being rejected by ‘Being’ that he’s rejected ‘Being’ first to avoid the possibility.”
So many people have Cain in their hearts. They become so afraid of not being good enough for God that they reject him simply so they won’t have to deal with the assumed reality. This is not healthy. One of the greatest gifts of knowing God as a God of love is that He will never reject us, no matter what we think of Him.
Yes, sometimes God feels distant, but He’s not. There is a recent song on the radio which talks about how now that the lights are on, you can know that I was never gone. This is what fear does to us, it blinds us to truth, blinds us to love. There is a point when we have embraced fear so strongly, and so completely, that we don’t want to let it go because to do so would admit we have wasted so much time embracing it, but you need to let it go.
Pray to God right now, open your arms to Him, forgive yourself for what you have felt toward Him and know that He forgives you. Your sins have already been forgiven, rise and go in peace. Live the love that was first given to you. God Bless.